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Common sense guidelines and red flags for safe dating:
RED FLAG WARNING: Pressing for personal information
If the person is sharing or asking
for personal information in the very first few meetings, that
should be considered seriously. No matter how friendly the
person is, considering online dating a little bit unsafe, one
should in no case share or force the partner to share the
personal information. Who knows if there is any truth in what is
being shown to you. So always be on safe side and never disclose
the personal information unless you are satisfied with your
partner's information. Also don't send your photos. To be on safe side, while chatting or
talking use some fake or made up name and also the email address
should also be fake.
RED FLAG WARNING: No solid contact info
They do not have any solid contact numbers, and don't offer resaons why. If any of the following
situations sound familiar, be prepared to further investigate the possibility of a situation you may
not be aware of:
- You progressed to contact them over the phone, but the problem is you can't ever contact them!
- You have to page them for them to call you back. Only they
will call you but you cannot.
- They use a separate line. If so, try calling their main line at random times.
- You can only call during certain periods of time. Again, if this applies to you, try calling at
different time periods to see who answers the phone.
RED FLAG WARNING: Asks for money because Granny needs
another operation
Since you are dating only online, your relationship is not that deep yet that your date
should ask for financial help. Asking for funds may destroy the
relationship which could become a long lasting relationship in
future. If you or your date asks for money, it may show that the person's financial
condition is not very sound which may push you away from your
partner. Avoid getting into financial trouble by following a simple rule;
"don't lend or borrow money".
RED FLAG WARNING: One sided efforts to continue the
relationship.
Are you the only one making an effort in altering your lifestyle to have this
dating relationship ongoing? Do you notice no efforts on other's
part? This is a tell tale sign of things to come if you develop an off-line romance.
You should be aware of the fact that no relationship exists for
long with solely one person's efforts. If you find this happening to you, talk about it to your partner
and ask them to meet you half way in your efforts.
RED FLAG WARNING: Feelings of Insecurity
Is your potential partner is overly insecure about your off-line or online
activities? Just as in any relationship, a person who is overly insecure about something can end up
being an emotionally draining experience. Take a
step back, and really look at whether this is something you're willing to put up with if the
relationship happened to last two to three years. If not, move on and find someone more
independent.
RED FLAG WARNING: Overly eager to get married
If you
think
that your potential partner wants to get married too bad, think
about it seriously. His/Her eagerness to marry may be a sign of
loneliness, rejection or feelings of resentment toward others.
Such individuals sometimes marry to get out of their home or to
avoid loneliness. However, they will often carry their past
baggage with them into a marriage. It is suggested that couples
take their time and not rush into marriage. Date a while and
really get to know each other.
RED FLAG WARNING: Pressure
for Sex
One of the biggest warning signs while dating is when
someone is constantly pressuring the person they are dating to
have sex. If your date pushes you for sexual favors, this is one
of the biggest red flags. If you are uncomfortable with a person's
advances, communicate that with him/her. You need to know each
other more before stepping into such relationship. Their
response will tell you how much they care about you. If they
continue pressuring you, they are just disregarding your beliefs
and values.
RED FLAG WARNING: Reality VS. Fantasy
There are many different viewpoints towards a dating relationship founded through the Internet. To
save future hurt and embarrassment, make sure you know your potential partner's philosophies. Do
they view an Internet
dating as a real relationship, or is it a way to live out a fantasy life? If it's the later, be
careful to avoid being their latest cyber fling.
Remember, any dating relationship will have its red flags. If you're really ready
for arelationship or interested in developing one, you'll be able to spot them, handle them and get on with
your life with little or no loss.
-
Tell someone your plans. As soon as you have concrete plans, tell your best friend or a family member
exactly where you'll be. If you have a mobile phone, enter some emergency phone numbers and bring it along.
-
Err on the side of caution. Just because you feel like you already know your date doesn't mean that you
actually do. Treat this first date just as you would any other first date. Use common sense and good
judgment.
-
Use your own transportation. Don't rely on your date for transportation. If things aren't going well, it will
be easier for you to leave if you have your own way home. If you aren't driving, make sure you have enough cash in
your pockent>
-
Agree to meet in a public place. Go to a popular restaurant, cafe, museum, park, or any public place where
other people hang out. Double date with a friend if it makes you feel more comfortable. Don't agree to meet
anywhere isolated, unfamiliar, or uncomfortable for you.
Use your common sense, trust your intuition
It's always good idea to take precautions when meeting people online, just as you would do in the offline
world. The following tips are just some of the things you might want to consider as you begin online dating. These
tips are not designed to scare you, but to encourage you to be smart, use common sense, play it safe, and have fun.
-
Remain anonymous. You should avoid being identified online. Start by getting a free, anonymous email account. Never give
out your real name, phone number, or address in chat rooms or in personals ads. If you decide you want to give out personal
information anyway, be sure you're giving it to someone you can trust.
- Be honest. Be truthful in your personals ad and in online conversations. Make your intentions clear.
If you're just flirting, be sure that the other person isn't taking you seriously. Being honest can prevent disappointment for
both you and your potential date. Just remember - you could end up meeting this person. You don't want to hurt others' feelings
with false impressions.
- Always pay attention. Listen to your intuition - it's your best defense. Use common
sense. If something seems too good to be true, it probably is. Even if you feel it, it's a smart idea to save saying I Love You for
a face-to-face encounter. Pay attention to habits and moods - are they changing? If something doesn't feel right, feel free to stop
communicating with that person.
- Wait till you're comfortable to call. Let the other person bring up the idea of talking on the phone. When he or she asks for your number and you're not ready to give it out, politely say "no," but ask for a number you can call when you're ready. If
you decide to call, pay attention to who answers the phone and the background noises you hear. Do they match what you know
about the person?
- Take it slowly. Spend as much time communicating electronically as is necessary for you to feel comfortable enough to
actually meet the person. Don't be coerced into meeting face to face. If someone really wants to meet you, he or she will wait
till you're ready.
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